aren't crazy pills meant to make you feel better? whenever i take mine they just make me sad. i hate them. i took one and now i'm sitting here with tears pouring down my face and i have no fucknig idea why. i have felt like this all day, i jsut want it to go away. i want to feel good, about anything. but i don't, i feel crap at everything. i ruin so many things in my life.
its all lies. i am not beautiful. i am disgusting, i am flawed. i can't fix it, i have tried so many times, but nothing seems to work. i will continue to try. i want my ribs to stick out, and my face to be pretty, even slighty. i don't bother with beautiful, it will never happen. When i look in the mirror i want to be sick. can that thing really be me?? i hate it SO MUCH.
i can't stand all these doubts and worries, i try to push them away but they continue to force themselves upon me. they make me want to curl up in my room and never come out. they make me bawl my eyes out and slash myself open. they burn my belly and tighten my throat. i can't take it.