have you ever chewed on your lips so hard its bled? thats what i'm doing now. Was having a good night, but i dunno. changed. Its all been bad bad bad lately. i knew like a month ago, i sensed this coming on.
argghh i want to be angry at him. i have no idea why, i love him. fucking hell i hate this. i just want to go get stoned, get drunk get anything. i want to cut myself a million times and then a trillion more. i want to stick my fingers down my throat till i'm coughing up my stomach. i want to hold a lighter against my arm and watch the skin sizzle. i want to never sleep again. i want to go and swallow a hundred panadol, one after the other. i want to do all this and a million things more to destroy myself. And i have no fucking idea why.