ahhh time to write in here again. feel like shit. it seems like ervyones fake and i havn't got any friends. and i've felt so dumb lately. like on the englsi hthing. i thought it was actually good. then i get a c. like the second last mark in the class. isn't really helped by mum making apointments with the school.
and it feels like jess had her own life and is slowly shoving me away. like, she doesn't need my friendship or anytihng, she'd much rather hang with nat and claud and mel. you can tell. so i can see why she would.
really really NEED to get smashed. get away from anything. haven't felt that feeling in so so so long. such a good good feeling. even jsut sucknig on the bong would be great. there are so many great feelings realted to getting stoned. i mena, wow i always feel good getting stoned. lighting thr pot and sucking it through. and thatv hiss when you get it all.... bliss. smiling jsut thinking about it. a real smile to. not a fake, i'm okay smile.