dam all the circles have faded..... ah well, at least i've felt them, i just don't have any reminders of the pain. i'm just doing one now. again and again and again. the skins gone all blotchy and gross.
dam i have to wake up in seven hours and 4 minutes..... ah welll..... i'm not tired at all...... but i'll be hell tired on the morning at ice skating......
so disappointed tom's not going. he didn't even tellme, he just told lorri. not that he had to tell me, i'd have just liked to know.....
i can only find once circle on my hand from before...... its reed.... theres a few sorta half circles as well. the one that i'm doing now should leave a mark.... if it doesn't i'll be very annoyed. i'll leave it for a few minutes to see if it fades.....
seven hours now........
sometimes, well a lot of the time actually, i think that tom hates me. even if he doesn't do anything it feels like it. i get so paranoid that he's ignoring me sometimes that i just curl up and stay there for hours. one day i spent the most of the day in my bed just thinking about every little thing about him and how he hated me and all this shit. i just felt something.... in me but out of me?...... that sorta said, he hates you and he's gonna dump you. and it was so strong and scared me so much. if he dumped me.... i'd die. i'd curl over and die.