i can't take this anymore. i want this to all go away. i want to go away. i want to run and run and run for years on end. i'm hurting so bad. i don't want to be but i am. fuck it i say. fuck all this shit. i want to overdose and pass out. that brings happy memories. it shouldn't but it does. i want help but i don't deserve it. i dererve more pain, more hurt, more yelling and hitting......